Posted by: Christo De Klerk 2 years, 11 months ago
Our first foster child has come of age and rather than celebrating, we were informed that she would be leaving on her birthday which is also the expiry of the court order. It came as a shock and our first thoughts were of rejection. Did she not like it here at all?
She was removed from her home many years ago by The Children’s Court due to abuse and running away. After stints in various children’s- and foster homes she was placed in our care 4 years ago. She did not seem unhappy and acted like a “typical teenager”. In four years we came to love her and she became part of our family. Then came the news of her intention to move back to her mother.
Concerns like school, final exams and studies were a worry for her, but her concern was for her mother and her mind was made up.
It made me realise that there is no place like home despite the circumstances. Your family is your family, and no one can replace that. Realising this took the sting out a bit.
Emotionally we feel guilty. Should we not have done more? Should we have done things differently? Perhaps spent more time with her? Having someone share a part of your life for 4 years does not just end in one day. She became a part of our lives, the events, the achievements, the good days and the sad. And then there are her photos that have become a reminder of the past.
What now? We feel dejected and we worry about her future.
What is the good in all of this?
Firstly we find comfort in the fact that it was her decision. For the first time ever she is in control of her own life and destiny taking ownership of it. She admits that she may be wrong and it scares her a bit. We believe she feels sorry for her mother, and that this may be part of an overall healing process.
Secondly, the fact that it affects us the way it does must mean that she had a special place in our hearts. We are missing her and the home feels strangely empty.
Thirdly, she knows and we know that we would always be there for her. She will always be welcome and we hope that she will visit us and keep us as a part of her life.
We wish you God’s richest blessings and may He always keep you in His hand.
Good bye sweet girl!Share on Twitter Share on Facebook